It is that time of year as the holiday in the U.S. rolls around called Thanksgiving. Most of the time, I am not thinking about giving thanks. Sometimes I like to complain about my life. As I am getting older I find more time to reflect and think about my life. It may sound trite to say but I am thankful today for everything in my life.
I have a group of new students, and they are learning about how to be a good guest. The past couple of weeks they are making good progress, but a couple of things seem to hang them up when receiving sweets or tea. Most often they forget about “Osaki ni” and kansha. They just want to dive in and get the sweets, or immediately drink the tea.
These are two small gestures, yet they are important in tea. Osaki ni, or excuse me for going ahead of you, delays the immediate gratification of eating the sweets or drinking tea. It slows one down to consider others first. Lifting the sweets plate or bowl is an offering before partaking. Kansha, in gratitude, not just for the sweets or tea in front of us, but gratitude to the host for providing the temae, the space to hold the tea ceremony, for making the sweets, and for all the consideration that went into the preparation. The cleaning of the room and mizuya, heating the water, and choosing these utensils. It is also for the people to planted the tea, harvested, processed, and transported it. In fact, it is gratitude for everyone and everything that made this moment possible of sitting here eating these delicious sweets and drinking tea.
Just before my mother passed away, she made buy a blank journal. I thought she wanted to dictate her last thoughts before she passed. But she wanted me to use it. She told me that every night before I went to bed, I should write three things I was thankful for in the journal. Some days it was very hard to think of something I was thankful for. Sometimes I was just thankful that the day was over.
I filled that journal over the next couple of years. At some point I became eager to write down at the end of the day what I was thankful for. I began to look for things during the day to remember to write in my journal that night. It was no longer adequate to write three things that I was thankful for. Sometimes I filled a couple of pages. I no longer write what I am thankful for, but mentally before I go to sleep, I think over the day of things in my life I am thankful for. Loving family, good health, safe shelter, fulfilling work, living a long and productive life.
As I am getting older, more of my friends are no longer around. Every year a few more are passing on. While it makes me sad, I am thankful that I got to know them while they were here. I wake up in the morning and look at my husband and knowing that our time on earth is finite, I am so thankful that I have another day with him. That is a good start to the day, bookended by thinking at night how grateful I am for all the things in my life.
Yes, every day is a good day.