I just came back from Tea and Zen Tea Camp at Tahoma One Drop Zendo. I have never formally studied Zen, though over the years I have sat zazen for tea. At Midorikai there was a temple at Daitokuji whose abbot let us sit in his Zendo before class, but I was a fair weather sitter. I wouldn’t get out of bed early if it was raining, cold, or too hot. Other tea classes began with zazen that I have attended, and I have sometimes started my classes with Zazen to calm the students who had just driven in traffic to get to class.
Zazen at the Tea Camp started at 4:50 am. It was dark and I needed a flashlight to get to the Zendo. I am not known as an early riser, so I appreciated that nobody talked with me as we assembled and settled in for early morning Zazen.
After the chanting started and the bell rang, the room was silent. That is, with 15 people in the room, there was no talking. I am always taken how intimate the silence is in Zendo. Though I could not see everyone, I could feel the energy. I could hear outside noises such as cars passing, and birds waking up, but they didn’t disturb the Zendo.
Normally I sit Zazen in seiza because I can sit longer in that position than half lotus, but for this seminar, I have been working on opening my hips. Sitting in this position was challenging, but not as hard as I anticipated.
As usual, when the silence and stillness of the Zendo settled down, my mind went on a wandering journey in order to stimulate itself from the deprivation of input. Like a puppy, I kept trying to bring myself back by counting my breaths. Pretty soon, my left foot became numb, and it started to creep up my leg. The urge to move to find relief became consuming. Breathing, counting, breathing, counting . . .
I appreciated the talks that Gensho, our leader, had later about the physicality of sitting. The position of your spine, how to use your core to maintain your posture and even some exercises to help sitting for longer periods. The most important thing he said is to notice and listen to your own body. Our body speaks to us if we just pay attention.
In the stillness and silence of the Zendo, I could start to listen to my body. The usual distractions were minimized. What did that twinge mean? Could I find a position where it took longer for the numbness in my foot to start? What was going on with the base of my spine? At what point did my breathing deepen? Sometimes, I was just breathing and forgot to count.
During walking meditation in the crisp air of the now lightening day, I was at first relieved that I could walk off the numbness in my foot, but I began to match my breath to my steps, and notice how my feet connected to the ground. I walk regularly during the week, but seldom do I notice these things.
Starting the day with Zazen had lingering effects for me as I was more quiet and thoughtful throughout breakfast and chores. I was paying attention less to my own thoughts and more to what I was doing and people around me.
In the chakai in the afternoon, I noticed and appreciated things that I probably would have passed by without thinking. Sounds that I normally take for granted such as the sound of the whisk swishing, the water going into the kensui gave me great pleasure, as did the sound of the lid of the kettle on the futaoki. Do you notice these things during temae? Even the natsume and chashaku, I examined with greater attention to detail than the usual cursory look. Some of the guests had never attended a chakai before and I tried to pay attention as if it was my first time too. I appreciated that the host didn’t chatter, but let us listen, observe, and experience the chakai as it unfolded. The tea was so delicious!
Even if you don’t sit Zazen, spending some time in silence and stillness allows you to listen and notice things that get lost in the day to day rush of what we do. Have your tea in the garden in the morning, go for a walk without talking. turn off your phone for half an hour. And listen, listen, listen . . .